Thursday, October 27, 2011

The great wonder of what is around the corner

So now that I received my infusion (10/13) and have come back around from feeling yucky....I'm doing pretty well! Why is it that when I am feeling well I can't just focus on that? I try so hard to enjoy the days of feeling "normal" but somehow multiple times each day I find myself go back to...."when am I going to feel bad again?" And there are some days when I even go all the way to..."what if it hits me hard again and I end up in the hospital?"

These feelings do limit me. The best solution that I have come up with is maybe it is time for some acupuncture again. Maybe I need to recenter my thoughts on a more regular basis. I DO want to be 100% present and these "what if's" take that away from me all too much!

On another note...I attended the CCFA conference this last weekend at UCI. The biggest thing I left there with is....I will take what I have right now. My disease isn't the worst it could be! I am very lucky I have avoided surgery to date and I'm going to do my absolute best to continue down the surgery free path!

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